It’s just beyond me… Part XIV

Fifteenth session.-We often judge things and people without knowing much about them. For example, when I was young I always though I would never wear a suit. Well, I always thought a suit was the most snobbish and old fashioned uniform in history, a symbol of corporate capitalism. I was a rebel, you know, I wouldn't have been seen dead in a suit. But then again all the lawyers, accountants and stockbrokers that worked with my father never bothered to know me either before they judged me. They never liked my hair cut. Or my clothes. Or me in general.  Maybe if we had sat down and had a coffee some time we might have found out we had something in common even though our styles were completely different. Does that make any sense? Ok, anyway the point is that sometimes we make a decision without looking at the whole picture. 

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Since I was young, I decided that there were a numberof things that I was against: capitalism, weapons, war, hunting and eating animals, arrogant people … amongother things. And although i was very confident and Iwas wearing the rebel flag for years the fact is that everything that is criticized enters your life in the sameproportion as you complained: I met Oscar.

I never thought I would agree to go hunting safari on myhoneymoon… please! Who, me?Never!

I never thought I would learn to shoot a rifle and that I would be a very good shot …

How could I love a lawyer who was a specialist in family law and a shyster? How could I bear to have a man who profited from the misfortunes of others, who destroyed families and who lived off extortion by using children as a bargain by my side? Who, me?Never!

And then I met Oscar. 

 

I do not know how or when or why but I know that meeting that lawyer changed my life. It changed me. I do not know how or when or why but after my honeymoon with that bloodthirsty and passionate man, my idealistic… fragile soul was transformed into the kind of person I had always hated when I was young.  I put on my suit and started working in business. Slowly and with Oscar's help and guidance I climbed up the corporate ladder.

 

"This is like hunting."-He used to say -"Eitheryou kill or get killed, or you eat or they will eat you."

The new me followed his advice. When I got to beGeneral Manager I retired. Although, of course, Oscar forgot to warn me of what I'd lose on the way. But that's another story, doctor.

The truth is that the relationship I had with Oscar wasboth of disgust and admiration. On the one hand, the old me hated everything he stood for, his attitude, his principles, what he was doing to my life but on the otherhand, my damaged and fragile soul admired himwholeheartedly, so much it that allowed him to transform it into a new being, with strong and murderer, a person that no one would recognize.

That trip, that was the most remarkable of all trips of mylife and my past, those majestic African sunsets and the beautiful view of the Savannah, the blood of the beasts and the smell of gunpowder in my hair … my mentor's bright eyes and my newborn killer instinct.

 

A before and an after the beginning of the end and theend of the beginning.Óscar…

The Savannah and silence.

Light.

You'll never be afraid, you are made ??of ice.

Excuse me, my head was in the clouds, don't know why, but I felt the needed the giggle. Old age …Sometimes things make no sense at all. Never mind …

What did my children think? They were delighted! Oscar was a very masculine role. He liked boxing, cars and hunting, of course. He was also a great collector: ancient weapons, autographs… the lot. But for some reason, he didn't like football. Weird, wouldn't you agree? Oh, you don't like it either? Well, there you are. I like football players in general… Come on, doctor, I'm old, but I do have eyes you know! You're worse than my kids! Honestly…men.

 

Anyway, I have to go, I have to wash my hair. Do not scoff at me, young man! One must always look one's best! Being beautiful is hard work!

The first person who has to think you're beautiful is the person who looks at you from the mirror!

Are you a dreamer … You have a lot to learn!

I'm leaving. I hope you have a good weekend and we'll talk another little bit longer next week. Yes, in the same place and at the same time. Once again thanks for listening, it is always a pleasure to tell these things to someone as nice as you.

I'll see you on Friday! Sure, no problem. Goodbye.